My Muse
by ashley-chan
Summary: First Mars fanfic ^_^ Kira's POV on the man she fell in love with: Rei (sigh). Read and review! Kira + Rei 4ever!


-Title- My Muse  
  
-Disclaimers- I don't own Mars (but Rei is a true hottie) so don't sue me.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I have to admit I never saw myself falling in love like this.  
  
I mean, I was always the one that hid from everyone, the one that was quiet, shy and just....plain. But when he came, it changed everything. He just has something that intrugues me, makes me want to know more about him. At first, I thought he was a bad influence, I thought he was just a guy that smoked and made out with girls behind closed doors. Just a punk, who didn't study and just cut class to ride his motrocycle.  
  
But he made me see how very wrong I was.  
  
I still feel bad about judging him so quickly. It isn't fair to just believe what everyone says in school or base an opinion on simply what you see. Everyone has their reasons for doing things, and little by little, he decided that he wanted to show me his. I didn't want anything to do with him at the beginning. When he asked me for directions for the first time in that park, I was so furious I just wrote it down quickly and ran away.  
  
I was naive before I met him.  
  
I truly did try to stay away, but when I saw him almost kiss that figure of Mars, my heart just stopped. It was an odd sight but at the same time so beautiful to me. So touched was I with that scene, I actually asked him to model for me! I acted on that by pure instinct, knowing that he would be the perfect model for my drawings, and that with my hands I would try to make other people see what I was seeing little by little.  
  
He showed me what it meant to... live.  
  
Quite honestly, I didn't know what living meant. I simply hid behind my art and my mask of innocence. No one really tried to see behind my mask, perhaps Tatsuya but that was because he was curious about me, and it lead to a small crush. I know that he has feelings for me, but I can't return his feelings.  
  
After all, I already have feelings for another.  
  
Yes, I admit it, I have feelings for someone else, but I never thought it would turn into love. He let me see beyond what others saw, and what I found there was breathtaking and wonderful. He is a wonderful spirit, a caring person who has simply made mistakes like we've all done in our lives. That's so true, but no one seems to see it...  
  
Everyone makes mistakes.  
  
People try to hide their mistakes and regrets behinds smiles, kisses, lies and they pose as if they didn't have a care in the world. Deep inside, we all have out problems, we all cry, we all smile, and we all bleed. Just because we are human, it is no excuse to lie to ourselves and hurt ourselves physically and mentally.  
  
That's what I admire about him....  
  
He's real. He doesn't hide, he doesn't care what other people think of him. He's just...himself. Love him or hate him, he just stays true to himself, but in the process doesn't want anyone to see his painful past. He tries to protect me from his wounds, not wanting me to hurt because of him, but I try to let him see that I am here for him. I won't allow him to hide from me, because he loves me for me and I will do the same.  
  
And I fell for him hard.  
  
I sometimes laugh when I think of it. We are so different; he is dark, mysterious, a little boy at heart; I am light, shy, insecure when it come to love. But somewhere along the road, we fell in love, and we both know it's for real. I know he has had many girls, I know he isn't innocent at all when it comes to carnal pleasures, and what he has with me now, is forgein to him... but he's trying his best to keep up.  
  
He became a man when he fell in love with me.  
  
I saw it, I saw him become a man in front of my eyes, and it only made me appreciate him even more. To know that he cares for me that much, to know that he is willing on giving up his title of "the erotic king" for me, makes me feel good inside. Knowing that he appreciates me, sees me for who I really am, makes me love him even more.  
  
I can't help myself.  
  
Like a moth, I am attracted to him as if he were a flame. I think he thinks the same thing, and well, there is really nothing more we can do about it. After all, I can't remember the last time I felt this happy, this calm, this secure. He protects me, he's there for me, and I know that he will never let me fall.  
  
He's my guardian.  
  
I've never really had a boyfriend, I never had time nor interest for it. It was all about my art, and I didn't want anyone to see me for fear that they would hurt me or be dissapointed. I let him see my heart, because he let me see his. His heart just glows, and mine feels as if it's going to explode every time I'm near him. When I'm with him, I can't stop trembling, and when he holds me in his arms, he makes me feel loved.  
  
He's like a blanket, covering me with his love.  
  
When I'm cold, he's there to warm me. When I'm scared, he's there to comfort me. When I'm insecure, he's there to reassure me. When I'm weak, he's my strenght. He is my muse, my love, my heart, my soul, my strenght, my everything.  
  
He is what keeps me going.  
  
It may sound a little foolish, but I know now what it means to be a "slave to love". And what makes it ironic is that he understands it now also. The first time he let me ride his bike, I felt special, honored that he would let me ride what is so precious to him. When he gave me his good luck charm, it made me see that the bracelet was no longer his good luck charm.  
  
I became his good luck charm.  
  
I see it in his eyes, that whenever I am around I give him strenght. When he is not close to me, the mere thought of him warms my cold bones, and I am left with a longing to see him. I would do anything he'd ask of me, and I am happy to know that he will never leave my side. If he left my side, I don't know what I would do. This heart of mine would break into a million pieces and I would be lost.  
  
But I know that he would never leave me.  
  
After all, we all make our mistakes, we all hurt the ones we love most by mistake, and well, we are all clumsy at love. Him, more than anyone, is clumsy at love. This is something as new to him as it is to me.  
  
But together we will get through it.  
  
I will let him live his life as he wants, I will let him make his own decisions and I will let him chose what he wants. In my heart, I hope he will always chose me in the end, because I want to feel his arms around me, his lips upon mine, and his tenderness until the day I die.  
  
My heart belongs to him, and only him.  
  
I don't regret what I feel or what I do when it comes to him.  
  
I utterly trust this man.  
  
I am drowning into him....melting....forever entwined....  
  
With my dearest love, my muse... Rei.  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N: The first Mars fanfic ever.... ^_~ I wrote this a while ago, when there was hardly any Mars stuff on the web. I love this manga, and I think this pretty sums up Kira's thoughts and feelings towards Rei (sigh what a stud!). I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did at writing it. I urge you to write Mars fanfiction, seeing as how there isn't much out there (if there is, please tell me where). Review, and I'll keep writing more. Ja ne! KIRA+REI 4EVER 


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